Are you destined to be ordinary? Is following goals for other people but not you? Are you quite happy in your comfort zone and not that keen to step outside? It is great other people do that, but it is not for me. When friends talk about their holidays or exciting weekends do you think, that sounds amazing, but I am just not that lucky to have a life like that?
Luck has nothing to do with and you are worthy of having a full exciting life.
I do not believe in luck. The people I know who would be considered ‘lucky’ are the people who get out there, they take risks, they work hard and create the life they want and have a desire to serve others. Some people are born with more advantages in life or more privilege and some are born into a life with many more obstacles and disadvantages, but it does not destine you for a lifetime of being ‘unlucky’.
I did not grow up in a happy home, I was born into turmoil and dysfunction and then made bad decisions for myself and was an alcoholic at 14 years old. I drunk myself into hopelessness and desperation until I was 24 years old and then was saved through my faith in Jesus and becoming part of a church family. You can read more about that in my first book ‘Soaring out of the darkness’. I know what it is like to be damaged and to struggle to just get through a day, dealing with depression, addiction, and heartache. But that is not the end of the story and with hard work, faith and determination any life can be turned around. I have an amazing life now and when people say ‘You are so lucky’ I just laugh as I know luck had nothing to do with it.
For a long time, though I believed I did not deserve a good life, I was broken and unworthy and wanted to be invisible. But over time I realised that I was missing out on incredible adventures and I did not want to miss out anymore.
I am not the adventure kind of person, I do not like roller coasters, and I would never Bungy jump. I just do not get that feeling that people report from those activities. I get my adrenaline rush from marathons, speaking on stage and travelling. So, when a few years ago we were traveling to the Philippines with a group from Ezymovez dance fitness and I found that we could swim with Whale Sharks there. I have no idea why I thought that was a good idea. I am not an ocean girl, I love the beach to sit and read a book, not much into the water although my husband is a surfer and spends a lot of time at the beach and I particularly do not like deep water. But I do love to see animals in their natural environments and whale sharks are huge and it just looks so much fun. I saw the website and I thought ‘I would love to do that.’ So we went to the place where you swim with the sharks and as I waiting to go out in the water I was struck by the ridiculous of where I was, I am just not the kind of person that swims with sharks but I had suggested it and here we were. Often in those situations, I will stay back on the beach and watch the others go and do the cool things, firstly because I don’t want to be seen in a swimsuit but mainly because I just did not see myself as that type of person to have adventures. But I decided I was no longer going to be the girl who sat back and watched all the fun, I was going to be part of it. I am so glad I did, swimming with the Whale sharks was amazing, once in a lifetime experience. I would have regretted it so much if I had not participated due to feeling like I was just not that type of person.
I am not that kind of person – to examine where this thought comes from you need to look at what you are telling yourself and why you are saying it. Who told you what type of person you are? What types of people are there?
Many times, it comes from things people have said to us growing up. When I was at High School, I loved English and History, I love reading and am crazy about English royal history and World War II. But at school, I was never very good at writing essays, but I was good at maths and science. Towards the end of my schooling, a well-intended teacher advised me never to go into a job that required me to write anything because I was so bad at it but to stick to maths and science type careers.
When I decided to write a book, I kept coming back to those words of that teacher, that told me I was not a writer. To get to where I wanted to go, to write a book, I had to push past those words said to me and decide that I was not going to let that stop me. It was just one teacher’s opinion and school results that only tested one type of writing. And I hope since you are still reading, I am doing ok at writing this book.
We believe all sorts of things about ourselves that might be exaggerations or not true at all. Maybe it is ‘I can’t dance’ but who told you ‘you can’t dance’, and why. Perhaps you tried a ballet class when you were 5 years old and did not like to and forever after you told yourself I can’t dance. It does not mean it is true now. Or maybe in your family drawing attention to yourself or doing something for yourself was considered selfish and was discouraged, so now you are the encourager of everyone else dreams but never do anything for yourself.
Take a moment and examine why do you think you are not the kind of person that has goals or dreams or has adventures or enjoys life?
You can be that type of person if you want to. You can change this narrative of your life. We get to choose, so choose to be someone who has joy and is kind and cares for people but also has fun and dreams for themselves.