{"id":256,"date":"2021-03-01T14:27:13","date_gmt":"2021-03-01T01:27:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stacimclean.co.nz\/blog\/?p=256"},"modified":"2021-03-01T14:27:13","modified_gmt":"2021-03-01T01:27:13","slug":"round-one-goes-to","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stacimclean.co.nz\/blog\/round-one-goes-to\/","title":{"rendered":"Round one goes to&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"577\" src=\"https:\/\/stacimclean.co.nz\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/20210301_124632_0000-1-1024x577.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-258\" srcset=\"https:\/\/stacimclean.co.nz\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/20210301_124632_0000-1-1024x577.png 1024w, https:\/\/stacimclean.co.nz\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/20210301_124632_0000-1-300x169.png 300w, https:\/\/stacimclean.co.nz\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/20210301_124632_0000-1-768x433.png 768w, https:\/\/stacimclean.co.nz\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/20210301_124632_0000-1-1536x865.png 1536w, https:\/\/stacimclean.co.nz\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/20210301_124632_0000-1-1600x901.png 1600w, https:\/\/stacimclean.co.nz\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/20210301_124632_0000-1-780x439.png 780w, https:\/\/stacimclean.co.nz\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/20210301_124632_0000-1.png 1640w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>I am learning to celebrate the victories and a job well done.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I have a great job; I get to share my stories with people, through what I write and speaking at events and workshops. I love what I do.&nbsp; I do not love the day after an event, or after my work has gone out public.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I find it extremely easy to focus on the little mistakes I made, sometimes real but mostly imagined. &nbsp;No matter how well an event has gone or the great feedback I get, I go through this process of tearing it all apart and beating myself up for not doing better.&nbsp; It is a boxing match with many rounds as I try to dodge punches from myself.&nbsp; I am the meanest and toughest opponent I will ever face in a fight, because I will always go for the low blows, pulling out all the insults and old baggage to use against myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The joy of a doing a good job, of seeing all the hard work in planning and preparation come together is stolen through self-doubt and self-criticism.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Yes, it is always worth reviewing your work and getting feedback so you can learn and grow for next time.&nbsp; A healthy debrief is vital in improving our performance and services but a personal attack on ourselves for perceived failure or obsessing over it, is not healthy or helpful and destroys confidence and joy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>So, what do we do instead?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What has worked for me is to stop focussing on myself, but instead focus outwards.&nbsp; Self-doubt, self-criticism, and self-reproach have one thing in common: SELF.&nbsp; These destructive thoughts are all directed internally.&nbsp; Too much time spent dwelling in the negative or when we became too absorbed thinking about ourselves is damaging.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To change your focus from your inner critic to the outside world, change the direction of your thoughts.&nbsp; For me instead of thinking about all the things I might or might not have done right, I think about the people I met or talked to. I pray for the people who heard me speak or brought my book.&nbsp; Praying for other people shifts your focus.&nbsp; Do not stay stuck in your own boxing match, fighting against the nastier and meaner version of yourself.&nbsp; Take off the gloves and step out of the ring.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p> <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\"><p>Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.\u00a0Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,\u00a0not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.<\/p><cite>Philippians 2:3-5<\/cite><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I am learning to celebrate the victories and a job well done. I have a great job; I get to share my stories with people, through what I write and speaking at events and workshops. I love what I do.&nbsp; I do not love the day after an event, or after my work has gone &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[57,87,80,47],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stacimclean.co.nz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/256"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stacimclean.co.nz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stacimclean.co.nz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stacimclean.co.nz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stacimclean.co.nz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=256"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/stacimclean.co.nz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/256\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":259,"href":"https:\/\/stacimclean.co.nz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/256\/revisions\/259"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stacimclean.co.nz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=256"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stacimclean.co.nz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=256"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stacimclean.co.nz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=256"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}